Rest in peace

The memorial service for Roger was tonight, and it was a very wholesome time. The folks who shared memories of Roger did a good job of balancing praise for Roger's wonderful personality with honest acknowledgement of his addiction.

Each Sunday, Roger went to another local church after he attended ours, and several members of that church came to the service. The pastor's wife described how she had met him two years ago. He had stumbled into their Tuesday night Bible study "quite intoxicated," but he soon showed an interest in attending. He was hesitant because of the color of his skin (it's a black church, and Roger is white), but she assured him that God wasn't a respecter of persons, and neither were they. Roger told her that he prayed every day. "What do you pray for?" she asked.

"I thank God for giving me another day," Roger replied. "And I ask God to please give me a little money so I can get something to drink."

She and the other members in that church reached out to him in many ways. One of the deacons said that he felt very close to Roger because he, too, used to be an alcoholic. Roger said he wanted to be a deacon just like this guy, and so the leadership got together and promised him that if he quit drinking and stayed away from alcohol, they would make him a deacon-in-training. It was obvious that these folks loved Roger a great deal.

A policewoman who had befriended Roger also shared some thoughts. "In the IPD, we're used to dealing with rather unpleasant people, as you can imagine. But Roger was always kind and gentle. He was not obnoxious." When other officers had to lock Roger up, they would half-jokingly apologize to her. For his part, Roger was very proud of his friendship with certain police officers.

For my part, I think I'm more sad about the tragedy than I was on Sunday. Roger was certainly a very kindhearted person who never hurt anyone. He did have friends who loved him, and everyone is sad that he's gone. The memorial service was hard on his family. Although I still think the statements I made earlier are correct (Bob's friend actually did get Roger a job, but Roger wouldn't take it, and Roger steadfastly refused to go to Wheeler's recovery program), I'm now less angry at him and more sorrowful for him, since he hurt himself more than anyone else. I don't know Roger's heart, and perhaps he faced difficulties that I don't know about or can't comprehend. I'm confident that he is now in a better place.